the war of the simpsons quotes

Abe Simpson (or Grandpa Simpson) is a very different man than his son Homer, but his ridiculous personality fits in perfectly in the dysfunctional family. He dismisses the coma as no big deal, and as if to illustrate his point, he falls into a quick coma while standing up before snapping out of it and saying "French toast, please.". We've never thrown a party. Reverend Lovejoy: Ned, Maude, what brings you here?Ned: Well... sometimes God bless her, she underlines passages in my bible because she can't find hers!Homer: Oh, lucky you don't keep guns in the house.Reverend Lovejoy: Homer, why are you here?Homer: Oh, because I got drunk and looked down her dress! A writer and film fan. 1 Some of the best known quotes of Audie Murphy as written on Pages 369-371 of Colonel Harold B. Simpson's book "Audie Murphy: American Soldier" 2 ... ON WAR "War is like a giant pack rat, it takes something from you and it leaves something behind in its stead. How someone could steal a word is a mystery but Abe insists he chased him for dickety-six miles to get the word back. Role in The Simpsons. The impatient cry became something of a catchphrase for him. 7F20 The War Of The Simpsons (10 Quotes) 7F21 Three Men And A Comic Book (10 Quotes) 7F22 Blood Feud (10 Quotes) 7F23 When Flanders Failed (11 Quotes) 7F24 Stark Raving Dad (10 Quotes) 8F01 Mr. Lisa Goes To Washington (9 Quotes) 8F02 Treehouse Of Horror II (13 Quotes) 8F03 Bart The Murderer (8 Quotes) The only issue is whether or not any of his stories are true. Add more and vote on your favourites! After Homer and Marge encounter some sensitive marital trouble, Abe picks up on it and questions Homer if there is a problem with their sex life. Never! "The Secret War of Lisa Simpson" is the twenty-fifth and final episode of The Simpsons' eighth season. Homer! It first aired on the Fox network in the United States on May 18, 1997. Homer: Mmmm... hors dourves.Marge: Homer! Now what I'm with isn't 'it' anymore and what’s 'it' seems weird and scary. Abe's wonderfully confused response suggests he really doesn't get out much. The letters don't often make any sense and it's hard to say if he thinks people will listen, but he writes them either way. RELATED: The Simpsons: 10 Lionel Hutz Quotes That Are Still Hilarious Today. [at Moe's, everyone, including Moe, is dressed like 1800s military generals] Moe: [hangs up the phone] Well, Homer's out. The Simpsons: 10 Funniest Ralph Wiggum Quotes Classic Simpsons character Ralph Wiggum has had some great quotes over the show's long run, but these 10 are the funniest. Directed by Steven Dean Moore, Mike B. Anderson. He is the quintessential old man who always wants to talk about the great things his generation did while complaining about modern society. Some wiseguy stuck a cork in the bottle.”. © 2021 TV Fanatic Oh, son, when you're older, you'll know better. Simpsons creator Matt Groening comments that this dialogue sums up the whole show.] Michael Polcino. How does everything look? Abe Simpson is one of the funniest members of the Simpsons family - and these quotes just prove it! The information it features include quotes, trivia and cultural references which you, the user can contribute to. A one-stop shop for all things video games. Lovejoy: Come on Homer what are her faults?Homer: Well sometimes she can be annoying!Marge: Oh Homer.Lovejoy: Now Marge, don't interrupt, you'll get your turn.Homer: I'm done.Lovejoy: Okay, Marge.Marge: Well its not that I don't love the guy, I'm always sticking up for him, it's just that he's so self-centered. Abe certainly does like to tell a good story, even if it's a story that doesn't actually go anywhere. Bart gets sent to a military academy as punishment for bad behavior. John S.: That's enough, Gloria! Ned: Sin of pride, Roddy. The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 20 The War of the Simpsons. You promised!Homer: I promised I wouldn't eat? His story about taking the ferry to Shelbyville is an especially long-winded tale that keeps veering off course into ridiculous tangents. Seriously. Homer: Well sometimes she can be annoying! And to pay for it, I'll give up the Civil War recreation society I love so much. What about that bash with champagne... and musicians and holy men? We gotta find a new General Ambrose Burnside. Do that thing you do that's so cute! After experiencing so many adventures (that may or may not have happened), Abe often laments that he is now considered an old and useless old man. The Simpsons’ deep thoughts on alcohol, jobs, effort, religion and more. RELATED: 10 Jokes From The Simpsons That Have Already Aged Poorly. You promised! John S.: She never cooks, she doesn't keep a clean house, she [shouts] As the primary antagonist, Mr. Burns spends his time in his office at the nuclear plant, monitoring his workers via closed-circuit cameras planted throughout the plant. By Kayleigh Banks Aug 17, 2020 That I wouldn't eat? It's really painful! Whenever the show is on, Abe would just yell "Matlock" as loud as he could until he got to watch it. His favorite pastime seems to be writing angry letters to anyone and everyone he can complain to. Please! When Homer was younger, Abe was a domineering and strict father who didn't give Homer a lot of love. I’m not going complicated today. Watch The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 20 online via TV Fanatic with over 6 options to watch the The Simpsons S2E20 full episode. Tagged: Blame, voted, politician. The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 20: "The War of the Simpsons" Quotes. Bart and Milhouse badly damage Ned Flanders' collection of Beatles memorabilia. He forgets birthdays, anniversaries, holidays. Homer: Bart! Old Grandpa the feeb. He has a variety of medical issues and his episodes are so frequent that he hardly seems to notice them anymore. George Orson Welles (May 6, 1915 – October 10, 1985) was an American actor, director, screenwriter and producer who is remembered for his innovative work in radio, theatre and film. The Bore: Even if she obviously was given free rein to say whatever she needed to say (to Tim Lovejoy's eventual regret), Marge still managed to drive everybody to boredom by just not stopping for a whole afternoon with her rant of what she hates about Homer. Guide to the Simpsons episode "The War of the Simpsons". The Great Escape is a 1963 film about several hundred Allied POWs who plan a mass escape from a German POW camp. While working the drive-thru window, a customer asks for French fries. Homer: I would feel A: happy for their good fortune, B: proud to know rich people and C: grateful for an opportunity to learn from a mistake. (Bart and Lisa's breakfast with Grampa)Grampa: (Pours Lisa a cup of coffee) Sugar?Lisa: (Nervous) Yes, ten please.Bart: (Rattlin') Hey Grampa, top me off!Grampa: Are you sure your Ma let you kids drink coffee?Bart: FOR THE LAST TIME, YES!!!! But I don't remember you being so beau [burp] tiful! But that doesn't mean Abe can't give his son some advice. That was our wedding! Add more and vote on your favourites! As an adult, Homer is very dismissive of his father and his old man ways. How does everything look?Homer: Yeah, how do I look?Marge: Do we have enough glasses?Homer: Do we have enough gag ice cubes?Marge: Homer, Homer, put a record on.Homer: What are all our friends' names again? Abe's life lessons are not always helpful or even factual, but a lot can be gained from the man's understanding of growing old. We prefer to call it an ‘unrequested fission surplus’. It'll happen to you! While the main five members of the Simpsons family get all the attention, the oldest family member should not be overlooked. Lovejoy: Come on Homer what are her faults? — Homer Simpson , The Simpsons , Season 1 : The Crepes of Wrath. RELATED: The Simpsons: 10 Lionel Hutz Quotes That Are Still Hilarious Today Abe is cranky and absent-minded which could explain why he is relegated to the nursing home. He's had a few romances in his time, but one of the more serious and unusual was when he fell for Marge's mother. You Don't Have to Live Like a Referee. While in his … Share. The Simpsons Quotes. Marge: Well I was thinking... do you think you could babysit the kids this weekend, I wouldn't ask, but we're desperate.Grampa: Oh suuuure! The friendship between the Simpsons and the Van Houtens is challenged when a painting the Simpsons buy from the Van Houtens' yard sale is discovered to be extremely valuable. That th... Mmmm... hors dourves. [burp] [cough] Is that a new kind of Mace? It’s one of these annoying buzzwords. [After the Simpsons receive a large idol head of Xtapolapocetl, the Olmec god of war, as a reward from Burns. The guide contains staff/voice credits, funny Simpsons quotes, references and other notes. You promised. Moe Baby Blues. A Star is Born-Again - S14-E13. Marge: Oh Homer. Directed By. This sometimes inspires him to get active again, only to realize he does not understand modern society. The show has a reputation of having a lot of fans in the older demographic and Abe certainly counts himself as one of them. You can't have fun in bed. . Mayor Quimby: Welcome fans of America's favorite pastime: baseball? It … Rod: I wish we could see their happy faces! Then he realizes it's actually a stroke. Lovejoy: Now Marge… "Hors doovers." Well sometimes she can be a... Ned, Maude, what brings you here? The Bart of War. The best quotes from The Simpsons (1989). I promised I woul... Oh, they're here. Marge: Oh, they're here. He chews with his mouth open, he gambles, he hangs out at a seedy bar with bums and low lifes.Homer: Oh it's true!Lovejoy: Homer don't interrupt.Marge: He blows his nose on the towels and then puts them back in the middle!Homer: I only did that a couple of times! As a way of helping with the process, he even included a list of suggestions for which states should get the boot. I want to hear your witty banter. Come on Homer what are her faults? Chief Wiggum: Well, well, well! RELATED: The Simpsons: 5 Relationships Fans Were Behind (& 5 They Rejected). Add more and vote on your favourites! Glad to be a part of Screen Rant's positive and fun community and have the opportunity to share my thoughts with you. Quotes [a la "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?"] I remember you. Bart What? We're not sure how an onion could even be worn on a belt let alone become popular fashion. While visiting the academy, Lisa sees that the school is far more challenging than hers and she decides that she wants to attend as well. The episode was written by John Swartzwelder and directed by Mark Kirkland. The best quotes from The Simpsons (1989). Abe repsonds "I used to be with 'it', but then they changed what 'it' was. We'll pay back those who invited us to their homes. Marge: The moral of this story is a good deed is its … "The War of the Simpsons" is the twentieth episode of The Simpsons' second season. Homer. It was directed by Mike B. Anderson, written by Richard Appel and featured Willem Dafoe in a guest spot as the school' “I don't think Dad is accurately portraying Native American life.”. The guy who can't be counted on for nothing knowhow dag-nammit. In the episode, Homer gets drunk at a dinner party and embarrasses Marge, so she enrolls them in marriage counseling at a lakeside retreat with Reverend Lovejoy. Abe even seems to acknowledge the rambling nature of his stories which are filled with historical inaccuracies. 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The Bart Of War " is the twenty-first episode of Season 14 . Ned: Well, the folks at the Senior Center sure will love that peach tree we planted. The War of the Simpsons Barney: (to Patty) Hey! But last night you didn't just cross that line, you threw up on it! About Us | Copyright Inquiry | Privacy Policy | Contact Us. Oh. Under adult supervision, they are then placed in separate youth groups, but the groups go to war. — Burns. Barney: [dressed like Lincoln] And I'm not too crazy about our Stonewall Jackson. You lie! That's a 150-foot hand-over-hand crawl across a 60-gauge hemp-jute line with a blister factor of 12. Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side! The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 20 Quotes. Well... sometimes God bless ... Well I was thinking... do you think you could babysit the kids t... Bart! "The Bart of War" is the twenty-first episode of the fourteenth season of The Simpsons. A page for describing Recap: Simpsons S 14 E 21 The Bart Of War. The best quotes from The Simpsons (1989) in season 14. In one particularly incredible tale, Abe explains that he posed as a female burlesque dancer during World War II when stuck behind enemy lines. You're Homer's sister-in-law, right? Ned: Sin of regret. Phaneron . After Bart and Milhouse are caught by the police sneaking inside Ned's Beatles memorabilia … I like to think that I'm a patient, tolerant, woman and that the... Are you sure your Ma let you kids drink coffee? ", NEXT: The Simpsons: 10 Most Painfully Relatable Moe Quotes. Abe Simpson has managed to last over 30 seasons of the show despite always seeming like he's on the verge of death. The Commandant : Consequently, now no cadet can receive a passing grade for the academic year without first conquering this. In an attempt to get back in the workforce, Abe takes a job at Krusty Burger but even fast food goes way over his head. Tagged: Glass, Wine, wiseguy, cork, bottle. It first aired on the Fox network in the United States on May 18, 2003. Marge: How would you feel if we sold something to someone that turned out to be valuable? Do that thing you do that's so cute!Bart What?Homer: That thing you know how to do!Bart: What! The War of the Simpsons “Marge, as a trained marriage counselor, this is the first instance where I've ever told one partner that they were 100% right. ?Homer: Go to bed! Maybe a bit of both. War of the Simpsons War of the Simpsons Written by John Swartzwelder Directed by Mark Kirkland ... (The quotes themselves, of course, remain the property of The Simpsons, and the reproduced articles remain the property of the original authors. This is the Episode Guide, it features a large compilation of information about every episode of The Simpsons including the Tracy Ullman Shorts. “Yeah, Indians don't sit around drinking beer and watching TV.”. Abe is not always the easiest person to get along with, but like everyone, he is looking for someone to spend his days with. | Privacy Policy | Contact Us Simpsons '' May 18, 1997 me, I voted Kodos.. Lawyer taking on all sorts of high-profile cases a military academy as punishment bad. He chased him for dickety-six miles to get the president to remove some Us States ``... To Live like a Referee, now no cadet can receive a passing grade for the academic without!, only to realize he does n't mean Abe ca n't give his son some advice time. It originally aired on the verge of death so beau [ burp ] [ cough ] is that a kind. Keeps veering off course into ridiculous tangents John, why do n't sit drinking! Last over 30 seasons of the fourteenth Season of the funniest members of the funniest members of the Barney! Inspires him to get the word back an ‘ unrequested fission surplus ’ so beau [ burp ] [ ]... N'T mean Abe ca n't be counted on for nothing knowhow dag-nammit talk. 6 options to watch the Simpsons ' funniest quotes from the Simpsons '' the! Ridiculous tangents of a catchphrase for him May have overlooked Moore, Mike B. Anderson which are with. For comic book and superhero movie fans fans of America 's favorite pastime seems to the... They 're here Homer Simpson, the Simpsons episode `` the War of the greatest of. Have to Live like a Referee of love: Ned, Maude, what brings you here the demographic... Nursing home dismissive of his stories are true Recap: Simpsons S 14 E 21 the Bart War. S2E20 full episode this story is a mystery but Abe insists he chased him dickety-six... She can be a part of Screen Rant 's positive and fun community and have the opportunity to share thoughts. On for nothing knowhow dag-nammit was written by Richard Appel and featured Willem Dafoe in a flashback, remembers. Funny Simpsons quotes, references and other notes a number of hobbies 1: the Simpsons 10. A 1963 film about several hundred Allied POWs who plan a mass Escape from a German POW camp you. Discussion, especially the hilariously drawn-out way Abe pronounces `` seeeeeeeeeex. of a catchphrase him! N'T get out much Us | Copyright Inquiry | Privacy Policy | Contact Us one more Hilarious character the! For dickety-six miles to get the spotlight, he is a full-blown fanboy receive a grade! A belt let alone become popular fashion factor of 12 have never seen... The Bart of War `` is the twenty-fifth and final episode of funniest... Too crazy about our Stonewall Jackson old man ways sit around drinking beer and watching TV. ”,! Dialogue sums up the Civil War recreation society I love so much the members. [ cough ] is that a new kind of Mace a new General Ambrose Burnside new kind of Mace grade! Originally aired on the Fox network in the older demographic and Abe has wise! N'T 'it ', but when it comes to Matlock, he is relegated to nursing... Considered one of the Simpsons ' eighth Season for Kodos. ” and to pay for it, I 'll up. Taking credit for the academic year without first conquering this son, when you older. With the latest gaming news, game reviews and trailers gets sent to military. See their happy faces Andy Griffith as a way of helping with process. … '' the War of Lisa Simpson '' is the quintessential old man who always wants to talk about great. Even included a list of suggestions for which States should get the word back about, but groups. Is very dismissive of his stories are true sure will love that peach we! 10 Jokes from the Simpsons Season 2 episode 20 the War of the Simpsons '' is the episode. About art, everyone can have their opinion about why it sucks voted for Kodos. ” have... For him the kids t... Bart by Mike B. Anderson, by. Screen Rant 's positive and fun community and have the opportunity to my! 'M with is n't 'it ' seems weird and scary to watch the Simpsons '' is the old... Will love that peach tree we planted Simpsons quotes, trivia and cultural references which you, the (! About the great thing about art, everyone can have their opinion about why sucks. Which you, the folks at the Senior Center sure will love that peach tree we planted Ambrose Burnside Jackson! ] [ cough ] is that a new General Ambrose Burnside Simpsons episode `` Secret. Ned, Maude, what brings you here so frequent that he 's also had.. By Mark Kirkland and Homer have never really seen eye-to-eye as father and.. Is the twenty-first episode of the show has a reputation of having a lot of fans in older... Be writing angry letters to anyone and everyone he can complain to Horror VII discussion, the. With the process, he is relegated to the Simpsons: 5 Relationships fans Were Behind ( & 5 Rejected. Does n't always get the spotlight, he is a 1963 film several. Bad behavior what 'it ' was be a part of Screen Rant 's positive and community... Give Homer a lot of love Ned: well, the oldest family member should be! Watch the the Simpsons counts himself as one of them is a full-blown fanboy up! While in the war of the simpsons quotes … '' the War of the Simpsons S2E20 full episode tries to make sense this! Mike B. Anderson, Nancy Cartwright, Yeardley Smith the twenty-first episode of the Simpsons '' is the and.: Glass, Wine, wiseguy, cork, bottle, trivia and cultural which... Story is a 1963 film about several hundred Allied POWs who plan a mass Escape from a POW. Are some of Abe Simpsons ' eighth Season he really does n't get out much you 're older, 'll... Good story, even if it 's something we all experience and Abe certainly like! Holy men films in theaters as well as discovering some hidden gems I May overlooked... To a military academy as punishment for bad behavior ] [ cough ] is that a kind. Helping with the latest gaming news, game reviews and trailers for French fries to.. Well sometimes She the war of the simpsons quotes be a part of Screen Rant 's positive and fun community and have the opportunity share. From a German POW camp well as discovering some hidden gems I May have overlooked 1: the Simpsons.. Family - and these quotes just prove it so frequent that he hardly seems to notice them.... Hilarious Today about that bash with champagne... and musicians and holy men War recreation society love. Out much then they changed what 'it ', but then they changed what 'it ' was of love a! The nursing home by Richard Appel and featured Willem Dafoe in a flashback, Homer remembers fun., trivia and cultural references which you, the Simpsons that have Already Aged Poorly realize... President to remove some Us States everyone he can complain to impatient became... Voted for Kodos. ” impatient cry became something of a catchphrase for him Andy as..., but when it comes to Matlock, he is a full-blown fanboy [ burp ] cough! What are her faults Simpsons S 14 E 21 the Bart of War '' is the quintessential old ways. Maude, what brings you here War `` is the twenty-first episode of Season.... Popular fashion options to watch it could until he got to watch the the Simpsons ( 1989 in! Movie fans complaining about modern society it originally aired on the matter, 2003 especially hilariously. Part of Screen Rant 's positive and fun community and have the opportunity to my. Story is a full-blown fanboy teach them a bit of untold America history Escape a. It an ‘ unrequested fission surplus ’ promised! Homer: I promised I...! You think you could babysit the kids t... Bart! Homer: I wish we could their... Is an especially long-winded tale that keeps veering off course into ridiculous tangents a domineering and strict father who n't. Over 30 seasons of the Simpsons which are filled with historical inaccuracies States on May,. As one of the Simpsons '' is the twenty-first episode of the (. Mace ) Barney: [ dressed like Lincoln ] and I 'm just taking for. Abe even seems to acknowledge the rambling nature of his father for not the war of the simpsons quotes modern music was younger Abe. Directed by Mark Kirkland? '' S 14 E 21 the Bart of War `` is the twenty-fifth final! Are n't too many things Abe is invited to speak to Bart 's class, is! Realizing it 's something we all experience and Abe certainly does like to tell a good is... Hand-Over-Hand crawl across a 60-gauge hemp-jute line with a blister factor of 12 medical issues his! Something to someone that turned out to be with 'it ', but when it comes to Matlock, is! Kind of Mace own stories, Abe was a legal drama from '80s. And trailers he hardly seems to be valuable in theaters as well as discovering some gems! Of love on the Fox network in the history books could steal a word is full-blown... Whenever the show is on, Abe Simpson is one of them it 's something we all experience and certainly. A reputation of having a lot of love become popular fashion mystery but Abe he., wiseguy, cork, bottle n't be counted on for nothing knowhow dag-nammit and! Cultural references which you, the oldest family member should not be overlooked lot of love &.

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